Well…I’ve come to the end of my firs term here at Mount Kenya Academy and two months have gone by. While I have answered many questions about life and myself on my one year journey here in Kenya…I have just as many questions to take the places of those that I’ve answered haha! So…here we go:
1. I’ve found out that honesty really is the most important thing in any kind of relationship…especially to myself.
2. Drama will be everywhere I go…I just have to learn how to deal with it.
3. (An old lesson I’ve learned the hard way for the second time in a row…) Don’t change your values, morals, and yourself just to fit in.
4. Time heals all wounds. (truth…promise)
5. Go with the flow and live WITHOUT regrets.
6. Face your fears.
7. There will always be negative things about a place you’re living…it’s your job to find the positive things
8. Stay true to yourself. It’s the only way to be truly happy.
9. (Something I will always wonder) What does my future hold?
10. What is my purpose in Kenya?
11. What can I offer my students here?
12. Why have I been brought to Kenya? What is the point?
13. When will I make sense of situations I still don’t understand?
14. Does God really exist?
15. Will I find true love here? Or just true heartbreak?
16. How far does my comfort zone extend?
People here pray all the time. I haven’t prayed since…oh I don’t know…when I wanted something really bad for Christmas…or when I wanted someone to ask me out haha! So I was what, like 16? Since I started going to college I didn’t much believe in God. I believed in a higher power and I believed in my own spirit and doing things to make myself happy. But being here and seeing the faith of the people here. It’s quite inspiring. Yet, when married men come onto me I find it confusing. The pure faith that I see brings me to tears. It takes my breath away and makes me fall to my knees and long for that faith. That belief. That ability to put everything on one thing that has no sure fire proof of existence. What is God? Who is God? I wish I had the faith and bravery that the people I see here have. The ability to love God the way they do with abandon.
Maybe its a difference in up-bringing. Maybe it’s because I’ve been taught that most of my life is in my own hands. The day is what I make it with the help of God, not just God alone. Maybe I’m getting too philosophical for 11 pm (AYE SO EARLY…WHEN DID I GET SO OLD?!?!) Maybe its the wine…haha! Aye…now everyone knows that I drink and blog sometimes…ohhhh no! Anywhoo…too many questions hurts my head (my inner blonde comes out…uuurrrrlgg)
Four more months then I have an American Holiday :)
(wow I just realized none of my reflections dealt with teaching…crap)